Presentations:
Flash streaming video example (2.36mb)
Captivate Science Quiz Example (password = 999)
Articles:
Featured in "How to Decide Whether WiFi is Right for Your District" - School Business Insider (Feb. 2005) Brownstone Publishing Inc. 149 Fifth Ave. NYC 10010
Optimizing Web Site Graphics: What You Need to Know - South Carolina Technology Newsletter (Fall 2004)
Wireless Security: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - South Carolina Technology Newsletter (Summer 2004)
What You Need to Know About Wi-Fi, and a Little Extra - South Carolina Technology Newsletter (Summer 2003)
Wi-Fi Resources - South Carolina Technology Newsletter (Fall 2003)
What is a blog and why do I need one? - South Carolina Technology Newsletter (Spring 2003)
Black Arrow (a division of Scansource)
Misc:
In case you get too excited about my website I've provided the De-Motivational Flash.
Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay: (Submitted by English Teachers - Washington Times)
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Russell Beland, SpringfieldThe revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was act ually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Jennifer Hart, ArlingtonHer date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
Russell Beland, SpringfieldHer eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Russell Beland, SpringfieldMcBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Paul Sabourin, Silver SpringFrom the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Roy Ashley, WashingtonHe spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Joseph Romm, WashingtonThe thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
Barbara Fetherolf, AlexandriaThe little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Russell Beland, SpringfieldShe grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
Deep Thoughts:
Please email me at me@berrycrim.com if you have any answers to these deep questions I've been pondering:
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Is there another word for synonym?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Is Atheism is a non-prophet organization?
Is Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Speaking of which... If a man is alone in the forrest, and there is no woman around, is he still wrong?
Will the bookstore staff help me find the "Self-Help Section"?If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Is it OK for vegetarians to eat animal crackers?If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? .
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON(R), how do they make TEFLON(R) stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in my past life.